Big Shoes

it was a simple thing really. a couple of kids at a prayer meeting, looking like they could use some encouragement. i got the push in my heart to go and pray over them. one sat on the floor on my left, the other on a bench on my right. i'd probably prayed for either of them half a dozen times before and never given it a second thought, but something changed tonight.. not necessarily in them either.
something changed in me.

i reached down and set my hands on their heads. as soon as i did, i felt the rush of the Spirit come over me--had i not been leaning on a wall it would have knocked me over. i couldn't have been praying for longer than 30 seconds when everything changed. it was like being transported. i was not standing in that church, and i was not even looking from my own eyes. i was back in a large stadium with hundreds of people. i saw my hands still placed on heads, but the hands were not mine, they were his. one of the heads however, was mine.

God put me back into that night. the night i learned the truest definition of Love. i was crying. the hand on my head was the hand of a man whom i still to this day regard as having the closest relationship with God i had ever encountered. his left hand was on the head of another, who was learning the same thing i was. my right hand was being held by a very wise friend, one who did not often pray with me, never like that, but that night, i needed it.

I opened my eyes again. I was back in the church, with one student on either side of me. God did his work with them, but i had to run outside. God had some words for me.
He said that night in the stadium i witnessed leadership. leadership pours out love, gives as God gives. leaders are a light to all who see them.

i remembered everything about the man praying over me. the time he spent to teach me, the measure he went to so that i could understand who God truly is, and what kind of Love He has for me. God said "What he was to you, i will make you to many others. and then, I will make you more, just as I AM making him more."


it was overwhelming. the person God had chosen to show me had been more influential than anyone else in my life. the experience God reminded me of what the biggest change of my life, my walk with Him. I couldn't believe God would make me into that. that was such a huge responsibility, and such a risk. people like that lay themselves out in the open so that others can be led to Christ. they lose friendships, their lives are so uncertain.


and yet, how often do we speak those cliches (or at least hear them) "You're the only Bible someone may ever read", "Jesus with skin on".

i think the phrases are silly, but their meanings are huge. God used the example of this person from my life to put into perspective His plans for me. God can make me like that person, and as big as that seems to me, ultimately, His plan is much bigger.

i will be like Christ. we will all be made like Christ. i thought the first pair of shoes was big enough to fill. this pair is even bigger.

but that's what God wants to do. so i can trust that it will be done, and not by my hand either.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13