i think it's appropriate that i share it with you.
i was convinced that i had it all figured out. but if i was doing everything God wanted me to do, & following what all of His people were encouraging me to do, then why were there no results? Why could i not see anything worth mention that Jesus had done in my life lately?
"what are you doing, LORD?"
"Waiting."
"Why? What for? Haven't i asked? Haven't I sought you? "Haven't i been where i needed to go? And yet all i can say to these kids about the 'great things' you've been doing in my life amounts to about 15 bucks because my mom is nice?!"
"Hm. Yes, you have done some...things, you might say--"
"in Your Name."
"In MY NAME, yes. But what power lies in that if there is no FAITH behind it? Haven't you been teaching that same Truth to others? It's time you believed it yourself, isn't it?"
""Are you saying...have i really---lost faith, Father?"
"Yes. You have forgotten ME. How many have I chosen to give life to, and to take life from? And how many has the evil one taken that I have not allowed him to take? None? None you say? Then WHY do you tremble in fear at him and scarcely come to ME even to hide your face?"
i hung my head and wept.
He speaks Truth, and it is as sharp a Blade as His Word says.
I had forgotten my Father and His power, in all aspects of my life.
i had been arrogant.
i could make no reply.
"...You did want this. To be a warrior, fight the enemy. Remember? Isn't that what you said to ME?"
i nodded.
"but, a warrior in tears? it isn't what i expected. i look weaker now than i ever did before you made me into any kind of warrior."
"Few things ever look as you expect them to. and in your weakness I AM strong. You know that. Can you be faithful to ME now? No more trembling, no more leaning on yourself? Just faith--in ME?"
i nodded. i felt Him smile. I recognized His Spirit filling me.
"I know you can. You will have what you have asked for. I ask only for your faithfulness--believe ME, and I will not let you down.
Now go: REJOICE!"
"Waiting."
"Why? What for? Haven't i asked? Haven't I sought you? "Haven't i been where i needed to go? And yet all i can say to these kids about the 'great things' you've been doing in my life amounts to about 15 bucks because my mom is nice?!"
"Hm. Yes, you have done some...things, you might say--"
"in Your Name."
"In MY NAME, yes. But what power lies in that if there is no FAITH behind it? Haven't you been teaching that same Truth to others? It's time you believed it yourself, isn't it?"
""Are you saying...have i really---lost faith, Father?"
"Yes. You have forgotten ME. How many have I chosen to give life to, and to take life from? And how many has the evil one taken that I have not allowed him to take? None? None you say? Then WHY do you tremble in fear at him and scarcely come to ME even to hide your face?"
i hung my head and wept.
He speaks Truth, and it is as sharp a Blade as His Word says.
I had forgotten my Father and His power, in all aspects of my life.
i had been arrogant.
i could make no reply.
"...You did want this. To be a warrior, fight the enemy. Remember? Isn't that what you said to ME?"
i nodded.
"but, a warrior in tears? it isn't what i expected. i look weaker now than i ever did before you made me into any kind of warrior."
"Few things ever look as you expect them to. and in your weakness I AM strong. You know that. Can you be faithful to ME now? No more trembling, no more leaning on yourself? Just faith--in ME?"
i nodded. i felt Him smile. I recognized His Spirit filling me.
"I know you can. You will have what you have asked for. I ask only for your faithfulness--believe ME, and I will not let you down.
Now go: REJOICE!"
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